dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
