Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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