so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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