Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
