I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
