Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
