i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
