I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
