no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
