I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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