You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
