did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
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