yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
