Is it normal to miss your booty call?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
