When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
