Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I think people are normalizing furries
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
