I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
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