There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize