I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
