My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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