She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
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