Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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