You're completely useless in the revolution.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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