I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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