Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
organizing the empties. That sober.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
