Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
operation have a gay friend backfired
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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