Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Use "feeling words"
Yay
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
