You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
