Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
