You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
