She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
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