my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize