He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
