some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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