I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Randomize
