All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
