did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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