I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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