Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
