Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Randomize