You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
