I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
how can u be prego again
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Never underestimate the power of titties
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
