a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
