I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize