Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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