she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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