Will you blow on my dice?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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