youre lurking in front of me
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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