Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
