I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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