thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
