I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
