I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
