and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
