i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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