I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
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Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
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I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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