woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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