I wannas sexs uuuuu
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
