I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
